


Hey Baby

by brooklynxmagic (astudyinfic)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Baby, Crack, M/M, this is utter crack and I've embarrassed myself even writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13465008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/brooklynxmagic
Summary: Magnus invited Alec over to meet a very important woman in his life.Well, woman is a subjective term.





	Hey Baby

In hindsight, that was not the way to start a conversation with a man you just started seeing.  Magnus didn’t know if they could even say they were dating yet, considering they’d shared one kiss and a handful of life-threatening situations.  Sure, in some cultures that might constitute something permanent and meaningful, but in the Shadow World, that could also be described simply as Tuesday.

Either way, calling the man you would like to spend more time with and saying, “Alexander, could you come over to the loft?  I have someone important to me I would like you to meet,” was not the way to ease your already prone to anxiety love interest’s concern over your relationship.  The hesitation in Alec’s voice tipped Magnus that perhaps he didn’t approach this correctly but his excitement over the whole situation overrode any nervousness he might have.

It took Alec over an hour to arrive when he usually showed up within fifteen minutes.  Again, a sign that he was expecting the worst, whatever that might be.  And again, Magnus remained oblivious, too focused on the one he couldn’t wait to introduce.

A knock on the door caused both of them to tense and Magnus looked up at his companion, “Shh, it’s fine darling.  I am sure it is Alexander.”  He yelled through the door, “Come in, it’s open!”

Alec stepped in, trepidation slowing his feet.  “You do realize that anyone could have just walked in here, Magnus.  With Valentine loose, don’t you think you should be more...  Is that a...?”

“Yes, darling.  I’d like you to meet my baby.”

“But, that’s a...”

“Yes, she’s a cobra.  I made her for Camille about a century ago and my ex has been keeping her in India all this time.  If it wasn’t for Solomon’s crisis of the week, I might never have found Baby again.”

Alec blinked.  He looked at the door, at Magnus, back at the door, and then blinked again.  “You have an immortal cobra?  Named Baby?  That you just stole from the most dangerous vampire around who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?”

“Yes, that is the long and short of it.”  Finally, Magnus started to realize where he went wrong with this whole situation.  “Camille won’t come after her if that is what you are worried about.  I don’t think she cared too much about Baby one way or another.  She used her as a guard at her house.”

A small, hysterical giggle bubbled out of Alec and Magnus worried that maybe his possible-boyfriend was under too much stress.  “Do you need some water?  You don’t look very good, Alexander.  Why don’t you sit down?”  He tried to help Alec to the couch but the Shadowhunter jumped away, skillfully hurdling _backward_ over a chair, a move that would have been far more impressive if he hadn’t been trying to get away from Magnus.

Hands out in front of him, Alec opened and closed his mouth a few times, gaping like a fish until he finally found the words, “I wasn’t worried Camille might come after her.  You, maybe, but not her.”  

Magnus smiled, “I appreciate your concern, Alec, but I promise I have nothing to worry about from Camille.  Besides the loft is currently warded against all vampires except Raphael.  Sherwin gets old after a few hours and I needed a break.”  He took another step toward Alec, who took two more steps away.  “Really, darling, what has gotten into you?”

“Magnus, you have an _immortal cobra_ that you called _Baby_.”

“Yes, we’ve covered that already.  She’s going to be living with me and I want you two to get along.”  He smiled in what he hoped was a comforting fashion, unsure where Alec was really having issues here.  “You’ll hardly notice she’s here.”

“I doubt that,” Alec muttered under his breath, running his hand through his hair briefly.  “Magnus, I’m, um, going to go.  I can’t exactly talk to you like this.”

Magnus frowned, really not sure what the problem was.  “Like what, exactly?”

Alec whined, high-pitched and very strange coming from the lanky Shadowhunter.  “Magnus!  Please take the snake off your head!  You’re both staring at me and it’s terrifying!”

“OH!”  Magnus grinned and unwound the snake from where she’d curled around his head like a turban.  “She likes it there.  It’s warm.  I’m sorry, darling.”

Alec visibly relaxed as Magnus set the snake down, though he still kept an eye on Baby as she slithered off to one corner of the sofa, curling up again.  She kept an eye on Alec too and Magnus hoped the two of them would become friends in no time, even if they were currently assessing each other silently.  “I should warn you, Alec, to watch your step around her.  Baby doesn’t really like being stepped or sat on.”

His big brave Shadowhunter moved carefully around the room until he stood next to Magnus, eyes never leaving the snake.  “I can imagine.  I don’t want to meet the wrong end of those fangs.”

“Yes, that would hurt,” Magnus hummed.  “They’re quite sharp.  But that isn’t what you need to worry about with Baby.”

“Oh?  I didn’t think cobras were the strangling type.”

Magnus laughed, “They’re not.  You’re thinking of pythons and other snakes like that.  No, it’s the fire you need to be concerned about.”

The Shadowhunter’s voice was small when he asked, “Fire?”

“Yes,” Magnus grinned.  “Baby breathes fire.”

Alec paled, taking several deep breaths, composing himself.  “Your immortal pet cobra named Baby breathes fire?”   When Magnus confirmed Alec was correct, the Shadowhunter gave a quick nod and promptly ran from the loft.  

 _Huh_ , Magnus thought to himself, _I suppose that’s what the phrase to nope out of somewhere refers to_.

He’d have to track Alec down later and explain, make amends.  But for now, he had a snake to entertain.  “Come on, Baby.  Let’s get you some dinner and then we can watch a movie.  I can’t imagine Camille let you watch many shows.  Do you want to start with Anaconda or Snakes on a Plane?”  The snake followed behind him on the way to the kitchen and Magnus smiled.  

It was good to have her home.


End file.
